Always a Bridesmaid?

When Venus Williams was knocked out of Wimbledon last week, the first thought that crossed my mind was that she always appears to be a “bridesmaid,” next to her sister Serena, aka “the bride!”

But after watching some of the other games, I found it very interesting to note that many of the top-ranked players, including Roger Federer, were actually losing matches to their lesser-ranked opponents and thereby opening the door for those who, in the past, have not had the opportunity to advance to the quarter-finals, semi-finals or even championship matches!

So what does this have to do with your career? Everything if you have ever found yourself feeling like you’re “always the bridesmaid but never the bride.” And if that’s the case, here are two simple steps you can take, to leave your “bridesmaid dress” behind forever!

Do the Work. When I was pursing my own acting career, I had a cousin who was discovered by the casting director of The Young and the Restless while he was walking down Hollywood Boulevard.

If you’ve ever seen the movie Legally Blonde, then you may remember this line “Do you think she woke up one morning and said: I think I’ll go to law school today?” Well, that was kind of my cousin’s journey, where he just decided to move LA one day to pursue an acting career. And, while I don’t know too many of the details, I do know that he blew the opportunity that had been handed to him on a silver platter and is no longer in the business.

If you’re able to read this article, then I’m willing to bet that you went to school to learn how to read. I’m also willing to bet that you had to take tests to move from one grade to the next, and eventually graduate. And if that’s the case, I’m also willing to bet that unless you were a superstar athlete and was able to get someone to take your tests for you, you were the one who had to study and do the homework in order to pass those tests.

So here’s the deal: when it comes to pursuing your career, you have to do the work involved, and that means: taking class; networking; sending out your headshots and resumes, and going on as many auditions as possible. Because just like when you were in school and no could take your tests for you, no one can pursue your acting career but YOU!

Don’t Quit. The other day, as I was flipping channels on the TV, I came across an old movie entitled Life Guard that starred Sam Elliott (loved him in Road House) and Parker Stevenson (loved him in The Hardy Boys). Now the thing that struck me the most was the fact that this movie was made back in 1976 – thirty-four years ago – and the fact that these two guys are still working in the business. That being said, however, can you imagine how many times one or both of them probably felt discouraged and wanted to quit the business? Dozens, at least!

When I was in high school, someone shared this poem with me, and I’ve kept it on my bulletin board ever since! Hopefully it will inspire you as much as it has me:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

Food for Thought: Just like the poem says, you never know how close to success you may be, but if you don’t do the work or you decide to quit when things get hard, you may never know “what could have been,” had you just pushed on a little further!


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